Just mADE A PArabola og urine
Lol i'z typing this with my 962 nose
962=my?
Yeah.i
Fell asleep in bio again. Sometimes i feel like college is just one really expensive nap.
But sometimes ur dick treats me better than u do
I just made my bed perfectly before realizing that I'll be too drunk to appreciate it tonight
Sorry for punching you in the face last night. I should have known the boxing gloves were a bad idea from the start.
Was that not clear on Friday when I nearly deapthroated two ice cubes?
we already have meals planned for the weekend.
SEMEN IS NOT A MEAL.
This reunion sucks. All the confident hot girls from high school are still confident and hot, and none of the fat girls with low self esteem transformed into hot girls with low self esteem.
Going through my purse trying to find money for this cab but all I keep pulling out if chicken from my burrito o ate an hour ago. Help?
Woke up behind one of the fraternity brothers houses in the grass wearing a guinness hat and aviators hugging a 30 rack box with a zonie on my chest next to a campfire.
it's not like I want to die, I just want life to stop for a little bit. how does that work?
Dude, I totally just made my launch phrase on my new phone "Wingardium Leviosa" so that when people try it and it doesn't work I can say, "It's leveeOHsa, not leveeoh-SA."
he bought me ice cream then took me home and fucked the shit outta me. you can't write this kinda romance.
I see more hoeing in ur future
Randomize
