Im going to bring a boy home tonight, and not tell him that I have my period. So when he tries to fuck me, I say no, and look really classy. Then he thinks I'm marriage material. So I give him head.
What do you call a girl with PMS and GPS?
A crazy bitch that WILL find your ass!
I don't know what's worse, the fact that my parents own a sex swing or the fact that my little cousin was playing on it
I think im definitely allergic to shell fish. Or hungover. Probably both.
it's 10:36pm. Do you know where your penis should be?
Sorry but i am wayy to hungover to take mom to her AA meeting.
Wont she be proud, Hailey.
Yeah. You can ask him out. We're just fuck buddies. My vagina will be sad but your heart can be happy.
We realized tonight that we have to get advice about guys from you because you're our only straight male friend that neither of us has slept with.
Logically he should not be walking around...after that fall he should be in a hospital in a medically induced coma
I feel so much better about my break up knowing that he's having his 26th birthday at Rollar kingdom\n
When i sexted him a pic of my boobs I was worried he was going to notice the dorito crumbs and know I was just eating topless
i found you in bed eating fish fillets dipped in chocolate pudding
I just lifted up my shirt to scratch my stomach n a Dorito flew out of my pullover n it legit scared me when it hit me.
alright well you definitely hurt his feelings though you told him he looked like he was going to an Amish community prayer meeting..
Ugh. It's days like these that make me wish my bad habits would kill me faster
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