fuck dude i blacked out on a tuesday. what am i doing with my life?
Winning.
So two questions...why am I covered in muffins and are there pictures of this.
As per my father's affair, married men are no longer off limits.
I started to trust fall random people on the dance floor
I didn't just get this from the chlamydia fairy.. You should probably get tested.
I just got woken up by some Christians who wanted to talk about the bible. ways to make a hangover even worse for a thousand trebek
I literally just got propositioned by a sugar daddy.
OUR DREAMS ARE BEING REALIZED. THIS IS NOT A DRILL.
Everyone was passed out so I turned off the lights and locked all the doors. I also took the chicken sandwich in the microwave as payment.
I owe a guy a shoe because I threw it over a fence. That is all.
Why do I even exist?
Hold on, I need to find something to wear that says "I don't contribute to your daughter's drug problem"
I actually just took 17 pictures of some guy at the gas station that needs to marry me now
I never thought wine and chicken nuggets would end up being a thing that I did, but here we are
I HAD TO PAY A COVER FOR THE FIRST TIME LAST NIGHT. My tits didn't get me in and I was so pissed.
I can't even be mad at customs in houstons airport anymore for missing my flight and having to stay overnight. Within an hour of meeting we did it at her place. Her last word being "glad I could show you real southern hospitality". I'm definitely coming back here someday
Never underestimate the power of titties
Randomize
