She just face-timed her mom and had her watch all of us toast to her grandmas tits..
Convinced lucas all the eggs in the fridge are fertilized and now he's crying.
You turned byob into bring your own shit show. Good work.
Seriously! We need to take her a thank you note or something. She puts up with the drugs and the extremely loud sex. She deserves a thank you card.
shes taking the breakup well, i walked in on her naked passed out wearing a turban with a bag of peanut butter choc chips in hand at 5 in the afternoon.
I stole something. Which direction out are you guys gonna go
Would you be mad if I just used the argument "I'm allowed to say that, my best friend is a lesbian"?
Never. I'm proud to help you win arguments.
Kriste-san. Brian-sensai going to sleepy times acturry. Kriste-grasshopper will spend fun-fun times with Brian-sensai and glorious redbox movie tomorrow yes?
Most creative movie date proposition... ever.
the liver wants what the liver wants
If one of us has to be polite I guess I won't sneak out while he's in the shower
Yeah bunch of crazy shit... Makes you wonder how anyone found someone before tinder
his penis was like the majestic horn of a unicorn and I came like a million trumpeting rainbows.
Drunk me is basically the Oprah of nudes. Everyone gets one.
He fucked me in one of the back rooms at the club then gave me an altoid. I have mixed feelings about it still.
You shouted “im bobby labonte!” In the process of shoutgunning a beer. He said you were too redneck for him...
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