I drank it, and now my boss keeps hitting me in the face with beams of light.
Tripping at your desk probably isn't the best plan you've had.
I'm glad girls dont get visible erections
But, it would have made life so much easier...
I just single handedly caused ferngully by printing the wrong 900 page document
Sry I left before you woke up. The house was really fucked up and I didn't feel like helping you clean. PS Somebody threw up on your dog
it got awkward when the only couple not hooking up was just watching..
i'm going through an 80s music phase. and by phase i mean i will only have sex to white snake
Hahah fuck. I keep looking to make sure that stupid line doesn't show up when my guards are down. Babies can sense fear.
This is most sickening thing I've ever seen, and I threw up my body weight in jello shots on my birthday.
We have 24 days left before I leave for college and 21 condoms left in the stockpile. Are you up for the challenge?
I've injured myself in such a way that i am only capable of making love standing up now
I probably won't go. Last time I got drunk with those guys I just started demanding people let me touch their beards.Then I mocked everyone who didn't have facial hair.
He made a toga out of my hot pink bed sheets and cracked an egg on his head. Then he proceeded to alphabetize our DVD collection, which was impressive because I'm 99% sure he couldn't have done that sober.
MIDGETS
????
I wanted to write an apology letter to my vagina after that.
i woke up and couldnt remember who was in my bed and it was so dark.. i rolled over and started kissing him and feeling his face because hey... if the blind can see like that.. maybe i could too
Randomize
