I love you!
You're insane
Fuckin crazy man! Seriously though I think if you would have me I honestly seriously think about marrying u!
Alright now lets video chat so I can xshow u my dick! Hahahaha
so i told my doctor my symptons and she just shook her head at me
is it sad that i can masturbate and get my big O just from thinking about a Tiffany engagement ring?
I got vodka in my stocking. Having an alcoholic mom has paid off.
New channing tatum movie.
I'll bring my vibrator.
Omg 230 lb butch lesbian with a mustache grabbed my dick. I need an adult
At 4 am, making my walk of shame, the hotel security followed me to my car with his flashlight shined directly on me. I felt like either a criminal or like I was about to get raped. Can't a girl sneak out of a hotel room without an actual spotlight on her?!?!?!
I told him to pick up the beer can he threw in front of the police station. So he gets out chugs whatever's left and throws it back and says ok let's go.
And by "schedule" I meant crumbled up liquor store receipt, that I wrote shit on.
I have this vague feeling that I was involved in a dance off with a homeless man?
i just told him to get ready, because I'm going to be taking out my anger over the Super Bowl out on his penis.
All I have are vague memories of us eating ham?
I'm kinda glad you won't be in Vegas tomorrow because you'd make us go streaking or throw dead animals at them.
I just group texted a dick pic. Wonder who'll respond back first. Ashley Stacey or my stepmom
I'm at the drive thru window, five minutes out. If the bathtub is empty or you're dressed when I arrive I'm not sharing.
Randomize
