No, asshole. I'm not gay. But if I was I think I would do better than fucking Nick Lachey.
why do all the strippers look like they came from fraggle rock
similar to the time we made up the game of screaming at the top of our lungs any time a guy any of us slept with walked into the party. that went over SO well.
Good thing I was dressed to impress in my "I went nuclear on my wings" shirt even the girls are making out and I'm still 7th wheeling it...
Ethically speaking on a scale from 1 to morally wrong, how wrong would it be to give babies ambien? Hypothetically speaking.
We defiantly won best dressed in the ER tonight
He calls it "his noble steed" and i plan to ride it.
He was more tolerable with alcohol in my system. I woke up to him squeezing me and telling me how he wanted to dip me in strawberry jam.
Listen I know you hate her for what she did but this is getting our of hand. Please please tell me where you hid her wedding dress.
I'm sorry for not being sorry about whatever shit I did to you when you were annoying and I was drunk. That is all.
Actually it's really just going to be me drunk in your living room swinging from a pole on a tuesday morning.
Someone touched my vagina when we were out last night. The fact that it was you is inconsequential and I am still counting it as a pull.
I'm to sober to make life ruining decisions and alcohol is to expensive at this bar for me to fear that level of drunk happening
I found you laying in a field of grass near the trail I jog on in the morning like a drunken Bambi.
Why were you twerking to, "The Wheels on the Bus"?
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