You know ure stoned when u start thinking about making a bacon smoothie
Last night Brynn convinced every person at the party wearing glasses that they stole hers, and she woke up with 8 pairs of prescription glasses in her bag.
Well, what part of "I've heard she has crabs" didn't you take into consideration?
I just delivered a ham and cheese to a strip club. you were right this job is not that bad
Moms kinda upset I threw up in grandmas bedroom. I think ill stay in tonight.
I made out with Jen. We were naked. I'm still gay. Forever
I feel like the other woman.
You ARE the other woman.
The usual, bring face make up, I have a weird gash on my nose, probably from my one night stand
Apparently I told the girl smoking was terrible for her, and then requested it in my mouth.
I thought I was smashed last night but the girl trying to pee in the fridge had me beat. True story.
I just had sex over my oven then high fived the guy. It's going to be a good year.
Nothing like waking up naked and alone on your floor to remind you that you make life mistakes often.
Your text makes more sense read in reverse.
Between having seen you naked and interpreting your values based on the occasional political FB post, you're no stranger for sure.
Idk man, we spent like 20 mins arguing about the moral ambiguity of fucking in someone else's car
Randomize
