We just described beer as "big boy apple juice" to his 2 year old.
BTW. If I show up really drunk and dressed a cowboy, don't be alarmed
also, made a drinking game out of my birthday photos....drink everytime alcohol is in a photo. going through all 350 of them.
I JUST HAD A FLASH MEMORY OF DOING A SHOT OF WHISKEY WITH MY BEER YOU WERE SUPPOSED TO PUNCH ME IN THE FACE TO PREVENT THAT FROM HAPPENING.
I feel like if you're funneling natty lights on a Wednesday at 2:30pm at the apartment complex pool during finals week, you probably don't have your priorities straight.
I take pride in being a married 31 year old who sleeps on her best friend's bathroom floor from time to time.
i really need to shower, but i don't want to take off my bra and lose my cleavage. the struggle
We just took an Eskimo family picture.. It's pretty cute honestly
He's nice to look at and knows the difference between your and you're. I win.
YAS. BRING CRAB.
That moment when you're in a room with 3 guys and know how big their dicks are. Then you are married to the one with the smallest dick.
I woke up in a cornfield to shouting, a bottle of Jim Beam, and a bunch of mc muffins. If this doesn't scream Illinois, idk what does.
She walked into the kitchen, said 'we've come to this time of the party,' reached into the bowl of cold spaghetti and shoved a handful in her mouth.
Fun. You missed it. Michael broke a door with his erection.
the twins are trying to figure out which one is the one doing body shots off a janitor in this picture
Randomize
