With the way things had been going, I was never more excited for a person to cum
A cab driver remembered me by name, address, and ex fuck buddys nick name from a year ago. I mustve been one memorable shit show.
You hooked up with 4 random girls, avoided your grilfriend finding out about it, and dodged traffic on Park Ave. Can you say luck of the Irish?
apparently the bartender would rather give me free shots than tell me that my whole nipple piercing was hanging out
sarah just described his penis as "like bong-girth." I'm gunna go for it.
Ive seen teh same guy pissing in the corner. Twice. Its eally weird. My frieds gonna do th funnel. Im so excited for her! Love, cori. Cuz its lik a diary.
I wish you could see how much hot sauce and broken glass are in our apartment right now.
The profile of her ass is just unreal. Weird way to use profile I know, but never more accurate
Also this guy in my contact as hairy jerry sent me a pic of him shirtless and said I miss you and I have no idea who he is /when or if I met him but that's not normal?!
I can't go to the bars anymore. She wanted to see me again and I drunkenly told her I was moving today. If she spots me I'm fucked.
As for the other mouse...I don't have any mouse traps so I put a Jell-O shot on the ground. Party hard little dude.
He was like the most intimidating looking guy you've seen in your life except he was really shittily doing the two step
Come over.
Look lady I can't have sex with you EVERY day. I have things to do.
So I wore my ankle step-counter exercise thingy while I rode him. Don't fuck him- I only burned .2 pounds.
they told me that it was glow in the dark and would make me magical. I was too drunk to say no. I woke up to a purple vagina.
its like a neon Im stupid as fuck sign
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