I got so high last night I started crying because i couldn't stop thinking about how scary space is
I think we were cool up until the point where he saw that planned parenthood was on my speed dial.
I'm already at the bar. It's 2 PM. Help
He gave me a promise ring. He promised that he will imagine me as every girl he fucks in college.
Well, I can't relate. I have no idea what it feels like to withhold sex. Or have self-control in general.
i think there mostly mad about the fact it was 6 pm not the fact i blew a .255
Just realized the fur coat I am wearing to the wedding is the one I had sex with the groom in
Why is the word 'best' written on my chest?!!
Ask him about a girl named Meg then give a disappointed and disapproving face.
That's the point of day drinking, get fucked up by 6pm so you can get stuff done the next day. It's the adult thing to do.
Dear America, sometimes I miss your Everclear and its consequences.
The landlord called, GOOD NEWS! Noise violation #2! Something about people singing and fighting with vodka bottles in the parking lot. Well done us.
Is that a polar bear? You seriously grinded with a polar bear at the club?
He said we would have a beautiful daughter together. That way too much for a one night stand...
she's 6'2. you bet your ass i slept with her.
Randomize
