Soo i just shotgunned a water balloon...
Do you still like to have your hair pulled?
No, I never liked having my hair pulled. I think you have me confused.
so I got guilt tripped into giving her a new years kiss, and she proceeded to try and eat my face while mounting me. when you give a mouse a cookie...
Even My mom was ashamed of me bringing her home, she pulled me aside, and told me i can do better than, "butter faces"
He waited exactly 18 minutes to booty call me after his break up.
Although, I did get to see a Raiders fan and his toothless girlfriend get roughed up by the police and dragged out of the stadium. So the night wasn't a total loss.
I brought some guy back to have cheese whiz with me. Then sent him home
Was he satisfied?
No, and very vocal about it.
You need to get over here. I think the drunks are about to sacrifice a chicken to the beer gods. Or a freshman. Stay tuned.
MAYDAY. glass in foot, have crush on guy with mullet.life is over.
Caleb has a beard comb now. Also I have a pube comb now too. May or may not be related incidents
I have experienced an excessively hairy ballsack in my mouth...and it was horrifying. I keep feeling it in my mouth now. It's like hairy ball PTSD.
I'm just the girl with the breathalyzer keychain, and I embrace that.
Ever since I got to LA my dream self has been having sex with way too many rabbi's.
you have 30 seconds to convince me not to grab this guy's crotch in front of his girlfriend
Just find a separated / divorcing man. They’re too upset to fall in love, too helpless to be alone and too horny to think straight. Smile at him the right way and he’ll be thrilled to be with a sexy younger woman!
Randomize
