She was not exactly lady-like. Down there.
just smash crush and snort whatever we can get our paws on
I knew I fell for you for a reason
so was this before or after i puked down the ice luge?
I just saw a license plate that said "Guidete" at college. This proves the world is officially ending in 2012
Just heard the new 'We are the world' ... Can I get my 10 bucks for Haiti back?
If you can't find your cat in the morning it's cause i put him in the laundry basket and then put the laundry basket in the shower.
How is it I was the last to know everyone calls me tig ole bitties? Did y'all have a meeting about this that I wasn't invited to?
I feel like ass. I'm missing 12 hours of my life and all I have to show for it is an empty wendys bag. Those Shrooms were too much... When do we do it again?
Welcome to the first annual slutathon and let the men be ever in our favor
At orientation, some girl is asking, loudly, where she can get weed. Everyone looks discussed but are paying very close attention to people's answers.
I can't blame him for thinking that then, placing a cone shaped potato chip on the tip of his penis post bj is not a normal act of love
Bro if you don't text me back I'm gonna send you a picture of my nut sack every ten seconds for the rest of the night. I'm home alone with nothing to do. Don't push me.
You don't know how badly I want to just hold you as a soup spoon holds a bisque
I didn't have toilet paper until 20 minutes ago. But I have champagne. Priorities.
my talents include tricking people into giving me money and free drugs
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