At a stoplight watching a woman push groceries in a stroller while dodging oncoming traffic... Reallllly Detroit?
I drunk madeout with my mom last night. it's guna be an awkward breakfast.
Hah, I lost the lenses in my glasses, didn't event notice til this morning... How was the meeting?
i remember you telling me to take a shower, brush my teeth, go get back in bed w her, and "just do what i was born to do." and as soon as i stopped yacking i did just that. you saved my birthday.
Donating $10 to Sandy victims for every hurricane I drink tomorrow. Buying me alcohol just became a good cause.
Alive.
So much puke
you were drunkenly making out with a 20-something in front of your wife. at least the guy your wife left with was decent looking.
You were doing bacon vodka shots and chasing them with barbecue sauce. You're officially fucking disgusting. I love you.
I found you walking along the street hammered. You walked up said hi and handed me a beer.
We're keeping you on a leash this Saint Patrick's Day
Had to leave my skype meeting to vomit. I'm obviously ready for the real world.
We peed on a building I think...like a building in downtown...not out of view of anyone.
It's beautiful. It's what jesusxwants. I should send you a pic of my boobs out of friendship
He gave us beer and shots and made us pizza in his brick oven before firing a handgun into the air to signal it was time to give us a ride in his inflatable raft to the bars.
He's like a mythological figure
Anything special planned for Valentines Day?
Does testing the strength of my coworker’s marriage count?
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