Yup u can hook up with me now and not goto jail
I vaguely remember telling people they were not trash cans
looks like were buying each other an abortion for our one year present...
about to play the homeward bound drinking game. alone. what are you doing tonight?
what am i going to do when LOST is over? What am i going to get high to?
Just bought a handle of vodka with the excuse of "just in case we drink tonight"
I'm gonna wear that dress that makes me look like a slut. You know, the one your sister got arrested in.
Thanks for making breakfast. I usually have cereal and coffee...but i think margaritas and turkey sandwiches could catch on.
I tried to make friends with the geese living behind Hughes. They didn't really like that idea.
Are you high?
Someone got day drunk, but I'm not saying who.
It was me.
he attacked my vagina with the force of a thousand suns
We play beat the clock every morning. When the alarm goes off, she hits snooze and drops her panties. If I can't finish in time to beat the snooze, she jumps in the shower and I've gotta jerk off.
My snow day: told Cam, "we're not dating today, we're just roommates." No bra, boxers, drinking whiskey by myself for the past 2 hours, yelling at The Ultimate Fighter reruns from 3 years ago.
i just used a selfie stick to take an ass pic. i hate myself.
I lick assholes and I wouldn't eat mdma
Randomize
