Ryan Reynolds porn could be a WMD. Have a giant TV on the front of your tank, and just drive around playing it. Everyone dies of orgasm overload.
That's it. Iraq is done. Everyone dies, game over man.
its summer. and we all know college gfs do not count in summer.
college gfs dont count ever. theyre like getting corn rows in jamaica. you feel cool at the time. then you go home and people make fun of you.
Just don't lie down.. Throwing up upwards is NOT cute the second time.
When we woke up, I asked if we could play "what does your name rhyme with".....he said 'bave' thank god it was easy
You answered the door when the cops arrived with a beer in one hand and a pillowcase over your head yelling "GAGA, OOH LA LA!"
shape ups are the best shoes to wear when youre stoned. its like walking on little trampolines every step.
We already established this. No, he did not cum on the dog.
Just saw a guy walking down the street carrying a giant inflatable penis
Just arrived at our party
the parade is in 5 days. put your big boy pants on and come to beer training. time to build your tolerance. i can't have you passing out in a bush with a cape on again this year.
Like I feel like I use my high IQ for the wrong things
We had sex on the bear rug. He said "you, me and the bear. This is bear-idise"
Exactly man. Who needs doctors when you have vodka and hot knives.
I convinced her that there were two p's in Chipotle - the 2nd one was silent.
What the fuck were you guys talking about?
Lube wrestling.
Oh, makes sense.
Didn't think I'd be dancing with the Power Rangers but here I am
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