Hoooooo maaaaan
Yes?
I'm retarded. Again.
so remember that time i slept over and came home in the morning to realize i left my vibrator next to the faucet for parents and brothers to see? this is worse
we dont know what were doing after yet. first up we have 90 beers and a party kit and fun hats.
Scott woke me up by cracking a beer open in my face. Best friends are awesome.
Escaped ambulance. Meet me at your apartment.
its cute though when you google his name more than one mug shot comes up from different states
He wants to hookup..at the fair..this is our chance to leave him stranded with no clothes.
If you say no to drinking on a Monday then I'm going to take you to the hospital for a MRI
Just did an entire nights worth of bar crawl in an hour. Boom
THEY AREN'T MARRIED. PUT ON YOUR HOMEWRECKING PANTIES AND GET TO WORK. NO EXCUSES.
He showed up at 1:10AM covered in mud and vomit, wearing a headband that said victory in Japanese. I WANT PICS.
Oh hello Jordan's parents, I'm here to have sex with your son. He's in the shower? Oh great, I'll join him
I just saw elmo dancing with gumby. The bars at 7a.m. are AWESOME.
The reason why I poison my organs is so that you guys can't sell them.
I had a date last night. His dog threw up in his bed while we were having sex in it.
Randomize
