I sent him a picture of my touching myself. He responded back "Your nails look really nice"
make sure i look cute passed out on the couch.
I've hooked up with 3 different guys already this week...don't tell me I haven't been a productive member of society
there was 12 of us, girls included, shirtless and wielding swords as we bet on rock paper scissors in the middle of the bar. It was like Cinco de Mayo version of the Deer Hunter
I think my sister is getting tired of me breaking into her house so I can sleep with random girls when shes not there
drove into oncoming traffic. add a minute to my ETA
sleeping in bed with your booty calls married sister...you're the stuff heroes are made of.
I'm going to call you, don't answer. Need to practice moaning to your answering machine again
All i really wanna do tonight is get drunk with you and dance on tables. is that too much to ask?
you were passed out so I asked you what my name was and you opened your eyes and yelled "ricotta cheese"
no way
that's when i decided you were gonna be okay
That sad moment when you flush your Molly down the toilet at the airport & watch your vacation slowly end..
Oh boy. Send him a care package with laxative cookies and alcohol. So he can shit himself while he's passed out drunk.
The other day I was really high and I felt like my words were coming out of my mouth in flowers...I don't know.
The date went significantly better after the fifth shot of fireball.
It's a shame things ended how they did. We were well on our way to transforming from acquaintances with benefits to friends with benefits.
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