my mom heard me say 'don't squirt that at me' while me & him were in my room. She then decided to call my aunt and complain to her that she has the sluttiest daughter in town. she refused to believe me when i told her i was talking about gel.
I'm with your mom on this one.
i can't help myself.. i am just so in love with the kitchen manager.
...he was wearing JNCO shorts.. i'm pretty sure i saw the dragon.
last nights makeup is better than no makeup at all.
I swear that men would be more efficient if they had a semen gauge on their penises
I went down on her for at least a half hour, She loved it, so I thought she'd recip. She said "I only do that if I know I'm getting something out of it."
SHUT IT DOWN.
I wish my mouth had a period so that could be my excuse on those days I don't feel like giving head
Any girl that compares her vag to a hot ham sandwich is beyond a slut
For my 21st birthday, I require a kiddy pool filled with vodka. Make it so.
its 4am. im standing over him in my bed eating chinese food, on the phone with dan trying to convince him to break up with his gf. whoredom.
I tried to force my roommate into a sink last night. And I almost won.
I'd like to stay optimistic, but I have this nagging suspicion my penis is in for a disappointing holiday weekend.
I feel like it should at least be like a "hey look I'm actually fine that I drunkenly gave you my virginity!" friend request.
now acid just makes me think of crab ragoon
I think next time I give head I'm gonna try making the chewbacca noise.
I look forward to it
I think I'm just going to get a farm, a vibrater, and a lot of wine.
Randomize
