In these economic times, linking arms taking tequilla shots with your boss as an underage girl is the best job security I can think of
It's like the water temple from zelda. but with more tits.
Last night you tried to pee on my bed...in the hallway...your room...and the showers. When I finally got you on the toilet you passed out.
Watching intervention at a bar. Who let this happen??
Oh shit. The kids are pole dancing on a broom. It's like I'm seeing my future offspring before my eyes.
he said that weed should be legal but that particular bong shouldn't be. i stared at a clock for an hour and a half after i ripped. so logically, i completely agree.
its official: beach shits are the exact same as mountain shits
Uh no. you let me handle it. trust me: I can paint the Mona Lisa in tints of bitch.
The Angel on my shoulder is now resorting to merely reminding me that, "You will regret this later." I'm not sure if he's learning how I think or just giving up. Either way, should make life a bit more interesting.
While I'm on hiatus from the Russian potato nectar, it is my wish for others to enjoy it in my stead.
My costume for the end of the world party was a success. Everyone in the ER thought I was there because I got hit by a car when it was actually from alcohol poisoning.
That's what tomorrow is for. It's like bloodletting. Except with shame and liquor.
It's almost sad. It's like the Harambe of vagina stories really.
I'm sorry that you wanted to get laid and I all I did was play with your new cat instead.
I think I just read the whole internet. Front to back.
Randomize
