she has a tiny mouth but huuuge vocal chords
So, I'm about to rent a movie, order pizza, and use my vibrator.... Am I dating myself?
Nope, Im Irish and pissed with some drunk mixed in...therefore punching things is the best solution to every problem.
When i asked him what happened all he said was, the toucan... the toucan... over and over again.
moving back to school this early was a terrible idea we already used up our bail fund
If one more "stranger" walks up to me at the bar and asks how I have been, I am going to rehab.
all i remember is being at the diner with her at 3am and her storming into the kitchen to make sure the chef gave me regular fries instead of home fries.
the fact that he forgave me for making out with the bartender is proof that i can fuck my way out of anything.
I gave up. I'm crying over my notes. Oh, ya know, just another drunk finals week
Then mom squeezed my boob and said, "Dad would go nuts if I had these..."
For the sake of being nice I congratulated her and she replied with something along the lines of that I need to stay away from him and not touch him ever. I really wanted to be like "been there, done that" but my New Years resolution was to not start any cat fight over boys with small dicks before noon
I'd just like to formally thank you for the size of your dick. The gods must really love you.
Lol I'm just saying its too early for your penis, I can accept it but at a more decent hour
I flashed my boobs, shit my pants, and kissed the wrong twin. I'm on a roll you don't want in on.
He's a freak. Not like "freak in the bed" freak but like "eats glue in the weekends" freak.
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