Brogan sounds similar to Bridget...sorta.
Every girl's name is automatically translated to "Baby/Milk Carrier" in my brai
Is it bad to use cherry nyquil as substitute for grenadine? Because i just went there.
Nah, totally cool. It already has the alcohol in it.
Just saw the first guy I gave head to lose in the french open...some how I feel better that my mistake made it to the same mistake as our relationship, the third round. Don't judge.
You should have been there. We got drunk and threw a sword through his windshield.
Mom got me cough medicine that tastes like tequila . She said she took taste tests. Best mom ever.
I have a broken liver
I see that the whole "let's take a break from drinking" has worked out really well for us.
He was just lying on my lap in the backseat screaming how if the cops came he was a blanket.
You need to stop me from lighting my hand on fire next time we're working
Anywho, an ostrich attacked me today. Fucking useless pieces of shit birds.
We call her skankles because she's a skank and she has cankles, I thought that was obvious
Who are you to come into MY house and tell me when I can or cannot take my pants off?
Mixing Powerade and white wine has been one of my better ideas.
decided to jump from one of the levels of the Westin chicago Nortghwest. it was worth the broken legs.
You threw up at the outdoor bar and it was pretty...astonishing just how much can come out of such a small human.
Like he was cock blocking and it usually takes ten cocks to block this cock
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