Is there a nice way of saying 'touch my penis or i dont really wanna hangout"?
He;s fine. He just kept saying "hurricane Gordon is coming to shore" and flexed his muscles a lot.
you cried when she wouldn't let you have her bathroom rug.
Facebook stalking a girl from Germany is harder then you think.you have to copy and paste all this shit into freetranslations.com then try and piece together an awkward sentence. If only I could put this energy into something productive.
The fact that when I blacked in you were sober enough to kick me out of your roommates bed makes me question our friendship.
I'm sorry that I ate boneless ribs off of your sister, but that is no reason to drink my alcohol.
what kind of one night stand wants to walk you home in the morning? whole diff kind of walk of shame.
I happen to have lost a black t-shirt and the volume button from my phone last night. If anyone finds it. You know what to do.
Maybe one day we'll get unicorn butt tattoos together
We were still up at 6am, taking shots, because thats apparently how he liked to "get the day started".
If I died tonight, I'd be content knowing you were the last person to see my boobs.
Hi, I put a dog in your house, I hope it's yours.
i don't know what happened one minute im stumbling home drunk and the next im drinking pabst and smoking with a french guy ive never met named hugo.
This is a mass text. Who in the hell shat on my stairs last night?
he was really really nice, and I did coke off of his dong that night too
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