yeah it was kind of like, i'm 27 and still live in a frat house.. you honestly expect me to have "moral fiber" and a "conscience"
to be honest..when i was little i used to think sharks can swim out of drains and eat people
Buying $100 worth of beef jerkey sounded like a terrific idea last night.
If a man's penis is referred to as "the family jewels" does that make a woman's vagina a jewelry box?
I wish alcohol would automatically work as birth control if you have sex drunk.
they have a walk of shame score keeper on their fridge. I marked my tally for him on my way out..
I wouldn't necessarily say I'm in her pants...I'd say I'm more on the on ramp to the freeway to the long way to her pants. There really isn't a short cut.
I keep telling myself last night was not real, not real, not real. Then I remember I can't move. This hangover is too fucking real.
This chic sharing the cab with me just started givin me head. I'll be an extra 5 minutes.
Just puke out the sadness. Like a fuckin dragon.
You just kept screaming "PLEASE YELL CORNDOG AT HIM. PLEASE. CORNDOG."
Just because the energy drink is shaped like a grenade doesnt make it cool to throw it and yell "BOOM" and break my flatscreen, asshole
This has to be the weirdest conversation I've ever had sober and in the middle of the day before.
she doesn't even know what year it is. She just stumbles around life with a bottle of rum
Okay so my roommate deals some drugs so whenever he leaves we can hook up, be ready
I didn't know I was the on call booty call damn
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