i study at coffee shops because all these damn artsy people motivate me to work towards a real job.
there were at least 5 of us standing around the bathroom stall cheering you on to throw up.
Climbing onto the roof in a dress and high heeled boots was probably not the best idea, especially after all that Bacardi.
I kind of want you to get arrested just so I could frame an avatar mugshot.
Set off the fire alarm in our dorm at 2:30 am last night. 150 Naked people wrapped in towels shared a bag of popcorn with me as we watched the firefighters frantically search for my burnt popcorn in the building.
OMG THAT WAS YOU?!
Just realized I have to keep sleeping with him... those scars from drunk sex on the 4th of July are still on my back and lord knows I'm not about to explain that to another guy.
they won't let me drive with my sombrero
i feel like the 7 eleven by your house knows our deepest, darkest secrets
You are right. The scrape marks on her ass are from her breaking the doggy door by crawling through it.
I mean jail does seem alright, all the free broth you can eat.
If I had a penis, I'd want to put it in you. And I'd treat you with respect and pay for your drinks.
His balls will have been in my mouth at least once by this time tomorrow.
Dude get over here. Steven brought super soakers filled with colored vodka.
Apparently I told him the people made me order taco bell I didn't even want it. And then proceeded to turn off all the lights and sit at the kitchen table in the dark and told him not to look at me.
I told him. He hasn't said anything. Crying and holding cats is probably what is happening.
Randomize
