I think god was stupid personally. The clit should be inside the vagina. Idiot.
have u ever looked at the reflection of the water n watched the poop come out of u?
why can't you just be normal
you said "tonight pinky, we take over the world" and then came in my face
all i remeber is falling off a fence and banging him in the middle of the street, not sure which one gave me this cut
Just realized I lost my social security card...maybe someone else will do something with my life
She just gave me a free latte.
Correction. She just have you a frothy, creamy path to that vagina.
I cannot tell if the couch is cold or I spilled beer. THAT kind of night.
You will never know an awkward moment until your parents pick you up from a one night stand.
Has my life seriously led me to day drinking on a Monday the third week of the semester?
It's after 5, it's not day drinking.
His ass WILL be my cock's next vacation home.
I wish I had a dick so I could say shit like that.
Today would have been my 8th wedding anniversary and I woke up with a hot European guy in my bed. Divorce has it's perks.
I've never wanted anyone to have herpes as I much as I want him to right now.
Ladies don't puke and tell
When I met you, I was just like "who the fuck is this drunk chick throwing up on my bed?" But I'm glad we're friends now
never have sex with a mint flavored condom on. my vagina is on fire.
Randomize
