im ready to get crazy and take my wig off
Good face, no body. And apparently her vagina is related to chewbaca.
i celebrated the independence of our country by dry heaving tequila all morning. so classy. happy 4th.
he came on my stomach, took his sock off, wiped it up, put his sock back on along with his shoes and left.
I Never golf you the sypdu of andrew. The one o will marry. The one j plwgded my last breath up. The one I pledged everything I live forbworh to. I love him more than life itself
Nope, just sitting on the couch, eating an advent calendar, being depressed about the herps.
We had to leave. Dave knocked a dude out for saying yolo.
Oh you know, sitting here in my bathing suit watching antiques road show and petting the cat. Just the usual
My mom got me high and then dropped me off at a church.
I've abandoned trying to find a logical explanation of your life.
I forgive you, at least you vote. I found out my fuck buddy isn't even registered. I won't fuck a non respectable citizen.
I am the prescription. I can be taken orally or vaginally and in any dosage. This is why I went to med school.
Idk. It's not appealing to me. Like don't get me wrong, I love ur dick A LOT but I don't want to stare at it on an iPhone screen
he stopped talking to me, quit his job, moved out of the province and then told me it was "no big" when I called him apologizing...
skipped tacos for a blowjob. No tacos. No blowjob. More importantly...no tacos. Wtf?
Oh god, I forgot we had sex to Elton John
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