There's this guy beside me dancing with this girl with no panties on. When I looked at him he said he's babysitting his bestfriend's girlfriend since he can't come out.
What a good friend
He just told me his cousin just died and I look like her. Reconsidering the sex.
he pointed at my clit and asked with a confused face, 'whats this thingy??"
When I woke up in the parking lot today I decided it is not a good idea to hang out with you anymore.
He tried to make eye contact, he should know by now that freaks me out
I have to keep checking she's breathing. This is why we don't drink on Sundays
She's the one that asked you what my favorite color was & handed you a piece of bacon
Marshall is naming all the elements of my face. I love science nerds.
He burnt his arm on the grill, then turned around and started blaming it on the burger buns...I think it's safe to say he's drunk.
I cancelled the entertainment for your b-day party.... Keep the bouncy castle just in case.
I'm not leaving my family to go to a strip club on good friday.
It's meant to be, Cynthia. You, him, and your developed breasts are meant for each other.
Saying I've had more balls in my mouth than you is the last clear, coherent thing I remember.
We have GOT to stop getting stoned and going out for expensive dinners.
When creating your wedding guest list do you put the girl you & your fiance had a threesome with under your friends or his friends?
Randomize
