No seriously, I have to sell the house because my wife found out I'm gay.
maybe i get so drunk and make stupid mistakes cuz Subconsiously im preparing for my real world debut
I'm going to be blunt here. I don't actually care what you're doing tonight. I just need to know if I need to shave or not.
Just so you know, if you are not feeling well today it's cause you drank a gatorade bottle full of highlighter fluid.
Absolute soulmates or functional alcoholics?
Can't be the first without the last
Oh god he's like Julia Roberts in pretty woman... And I'm the one who's gotta make a lady out of him.
you should have seen it. it was just a bunch of guys in togas chanting the username and password to a brazzers account we all share. best thing that has happened to our group
its one thing to be single and another thing to be single and then have your profile picture be of you and the cat
your picture is with misty too!!
I AM SINGLE BY CHOICE
there are no losers in shot checkers. only winners.
I was telling my friend about your penis and the only word I could think of was voluptuous. You have a voluptuous dick.
Because I'm sitting in a bath of my own wisdom and drowning my sorrows in coconut rum
I fell asleep with a half eating burrito in my hand and woke up to cat vomit with burrito in it.
There is a huge naked guy in the kitchen with the boner of a lifetime and what I believe is an assault rifle casually resting on his shoulder.
Do not let Mike show you his naughty Santa Claus outfit. It's a super long beard and crotchless pants.
What happened to your back?
Rug burn. My ass is even worse.
Randomize
