3:38a: you guys up to anything right now?
Dude im not sure whos apartment i woke up in but i just showered here and their shampoo in phenomenal
Hey baby girl when you gonna let my tongue get up in that ass like i'm an explorer trying to go deep under on a quest for the lost city of atlantis
your text was fucking rediculious. Will let you eat my asshole though.
Have you not heard of Jennifer's supreme lust for William Shatner? She wants to eat Taco Bell off of his love handles
you ate skittles off the table like a hungry hungry hippo. it was awesome.
The only pictures he has from one of the biggest football weekends is an album titled "I miss my dog" filled with tons of pictures of his dog and him. This relationship must end.
like he couldn't stop by and throw me in the back seat and ask for a blowjob? he had to give me flowers?
Apparently I was so drunk I threw my entire wallet at the stripper on stage. That was the third time I should've gotten kicked out.
Dude, fuck the siberian warm up. You can't put vodka in hot chocolate. Learn from my mistakes
Then she cat effected the picture of my dick I sent her the other night. I'm in love.
The condom broke. Its OK tho, turns out I was just humping her thigh for 20 minutes. Jager dude, Jager.
The staples of my diet are Labatt Blue, Xanax, and brick cheese.
I should have never moved out...
My 12 o'clock class is an all star team of my ex's hook ups
I mean in all honesty I would let James Franco shit on my chest. End of story
I just wiped my butthole and there was glitter down there.
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