So we stole all of the newspapers out of the stands within a 1 mile radius and filled up her car with crumpled newspaper.
Who leaves their car unlocked at night?
Someone who wants to read the newspaper.
it was like fucking with batman, he had gadgets i never even imagined
The only thing worse than cracking my rib on a slip and slide was having the doctors laugh when they found out in my medical history that I did this exact same thing last summer.
It's just a condom. Most people would commend me for saying I was going to start using them, and you're acting like I'm going to try heroin.
Drunk versus high capture the flag: what team is everybody gonna be on?
Hi. I probably already told you this mid puke, but thanks again for babysitting me last night. How did I get in the car?
I may have broken a few toes and my face hurts. I do know that I pissed the bed so at least I've got some closure there
Walk of Shame'd halfway down a mountain, skiiers passing. Do not drink with lifties at the end of ski season.
Is it sad that i just saw my moms thumb on the table & i instinctively put mine down cuz i thought she was thumbmaster?
I texted him 3 days ago he said he was pre gaming for the Super Bowl today he just text" gtomajg kaka hee 48!!!"
Are there any rules against fucking the hot TA?
Maybe for her....
Her problem, not mine
no it was not a "magical experience". After we dropped, he just sat there staring at my laptop going "apple makes beautiful things".
Not my fault the fence refused to just break when I ran into it.
In the officer's defense, I was indeed pantless at the time he cuffed me, but there's a perfectly good explanation.
you gave me money for the cab and then walked home..
Randomize
