Tell mom and/or dad that I am going to be home late. I am really blazed. Don't tell them that part, though.
he just kept saying that he had liquor dick..then he tried to fuck me without removing his pants.
I feel like my life has just been one 21 year long episode of "i shouldn't be alive"
They let me out of the holding cell just in time for me to get the morning-after-pill. Rock bottom feels even worse with all those hormones.
he actually managed to pick a girl up by telling her that her skirt was ugly and she didnt do a good job with her makeup. thats some seriously low selfesteem
Wow just saw this. Nothing like a little anal sex to ring in 2012.
And now she's hand feeding me pork rines and showing me her angry birds high scores. This is Vegas.
told our landlord the hole in the wall was from your head during drunk sex..
how did he take it?
not as well as i would have thought
Biggg time. I found 2 empty packages of extenze in my car this am.... not sure what that was all about
Between this new vagisil cleaner and these cranberry vitamins, my vagina feels like a new women.
He had the same tone in his voice and look in his eyes that he gets when he says UFOs aren't real.
Dude mama brought home the bacon, i got his HBO account i guess that makes up for his by par skills in bed.
It was ok until his mom walked in and asked if he turned on the crock-pot...
He passed out with his shoes on 20 minutes till midnight, and I didn't have a sharpie so I took the cheese whiz and filled his exposed ass crack.
he just kept biting everyone and singing hilary duff songs. i can't even bring him to a gas station.
Only if I get to be Gritty
How would you be Gritty for a fantasy hockey league?
Don't worry about it.
Randomize
