I'm at the doctor and the male nurse (haha) asked me if I smoked, drank or did drugs, and when he said 'drugs' he looked me right in the eye and did a perfect wrist rocket.
Hey babe, chan wants you to stop texting her about the size of TJ's dick. please.
shes got a 6th sense for me cheating...the the hailey joel osmound of me getting bjs
he proceeded to punch 3 mailboxes in a row and when i asked him why, he said "because they were talking shit"... i need a new boyfriend. and a new life.
just realized I'm too high to take the plastic off a slice of cheese....
I've banged too many servicemen's wives to still be considered an American.
In the hospital waiting to be tested for the first uti of the school year....I'm BACK BTICHES.
You were basically naked. Just covered in pink duck tape and feathers. I'd have to say this is beyond the slutty mark..
Just got done fucking the squirter chick. She came when we were in a 69. I now know what it's like to be water boarded.
When I was leaving this morning he gave me some candy off his floor to prove he was a nice guy... He definitely knows the way to my heart. Best one night stand ever
Why is there a muffler in the livingroom?
First, I just want to say that I had nothing to do with it. Second, how good is your car insurance?
If my birthday doesn't end with my panties hanging from a ceiling fan, I'm holding you responsible.
I have his gate key so know he has to see me again.
Hahaha. I'm so high, this is gonna be so intense. Even the DVD menu scared the shit out of me.
I don't remember anything beyond the drinking game but I woke up in my own pee this morning so I'm just gonna go out on a limb and say I overdid it.
Randomize
