a hangover this bad deserves a feeding tube
I'm at the bass pro shop. They have a river full of trout and turtles, a shooting range, a full bar, and the patriots cheerleaders are here. I now understand why people are rednecks. I may never leave
were drug buddies, doing lines off her ass is just a bonus
Just finished my quantum homework in ladies room writing with eyeliner. I am the party/physics champion.
The roommate asked me to make sure no one fucked in his room. And then preceded to give only me permission to fuck in his room. Had no idea who I was, just thought I was trustworthy cause I had Edward 40 hands. Felt like a Tarantino movie.
He always finds the good stuff. He's like a truffle pig for bud.
I know it must have been a hard break up. Are you okay?
Oh yeah, I'm fine dude. My vaginas heart is broken though. I feel bad for her, you should give her a call sometime.
It is completely possible to eat beef jerky sexually.
She said pants are for pussies while spooning peanut butter onto her frosted flakes with a serving spoon. She's not even high yet.
I have a fever. Last thing I need to do tonight is be elbow deep in old lady pussy.
whose parrot is this?
I had mdma, weed, and alcohol in my system. My doctor seems to think that's how I tore my groin.
Good, I would never sleep with your boyfriend , or send you an edible arangment
I looked like a tiger in heat. He didn't know if I wanted to fuck him or eat him.
He just got back from doing field research studying wild chimpanzees in the goddamn jungle. Obviously I fucked him.
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