I slayed a troll last night at BC guess i thought i was back in college
Why do my orgasm prompt her to begin using babytalk EVERYTIME?!
we ike ciroccccc we love patroneeeee shost shothosthsothosthostsssss veryboyddddyyyy
go home
Canada just beat USA, the sad part they still need us to make money so who really won
I want to frame my negative pregnancy test.
that blow job was not worth the clinginess that will follow
I'm at a party with half naked strippers driving in a little kids battery powered mustang around a stipper pole in his bedroom
I have now slept with people from more countries than Ive actually visited. Can we make this a game somehow? Like foreign fuck buddy bingo?
Champagne is a vitamin, right?
As I was climbing out of the pool he slapped my ass and said 'stay golden', i don't know why but it felt right.
Dude if it is ever said "everybody get inside the police helicopter just showed up.". That means it was a successful party.
I figured if he was OK cheating on his gf with a guy, he'd be OK with me posting his number to m4m Craigslist Ads
I would literally only have sex with a dinosaur right now.
I’ve seen not one, but three Facebook articles on my feed today about “how to eat ass”. Idk what the universe is trying to tell me but it’s needs to chill
You're a FUCKING ASSHOLE. Love mom
Randomize
