i woke up under my mattress pad with him laying naked next to me and his wwjd bracelet on my nightstand.
nice, that's exactly what jesus would do.
I wish you wouldn't refer to your breast milk as "ammunition"
I even made an effort to dress like a conservative young lady who doesnt black out and throw up in her bed regularly today.
I don't remember. I remember laying in the trunk of a car. For hours.
CHAZ BONO WILL BE ON THE NEXT SEASON OF DANCING WITH THE STARS.
Internet Is back!
MY NEWS TRUMPS YOURS.
I should not be in class today. For the professors sake.
Somehow I got food poisoning AND alcohol poisoning in the same night. Its like everything I love is trying to kill me. I'm waiting for my tv to make its move.
I am making pancakes and watching Spongebob Squarepants. My life is a waste of youth.
She is the Michael Jordan of blowjobs. Unfortunately, her baby sister is the Michael Jordan of baseball of blowjobs. It does not run in the family.
direct quote from andrew "you know i can't hear when i drink whiskey"
you can't get cum all over my hair and then tell me you just want to be friends
And to celebrate the raising of our lord I just purchased a bunny buttplug. Am I doing this Easter thing right?
I accidentally told my mom I broke my drug nail this weekend
On a scale of 0 to Thanksgiving, there is no amount of food that fights against tequila.
He jerked off some dude with a slice of Wonder Bread.
The sports guy?
Yeah. They claimed the bread made it hetero
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