until you tell me otherwise ill assume we're playing "cavity search" the homeland security game to spice up our sex life
Appropriately today was the first time I've ever GTL'd. I can't believe I made fun of this,it's rather relaxing.
I hope this doesn't become one of those friendships where we dont have sex
All she said was "the usual?" and unzipped my pants.
I sat in the bathroom on the counter and gave out advice to all the random people that walked in
Change of plans. Theres a bouncy castle setup in my apartment complex.
Who is this?
You offered to lift up your dress at the bar so I could see your lower back tattoo
Um, I think that was a general offer to everyone. So...who IS this?
On Friday, can we drink like its Civil Wars times and the doctor's coming to saw off our gangreen infected legs?
dude...i punched my best friend in the face, broke up with my girlfriend, and shit my pants.......now i don't know which one to take care of first.
She called and said her prescription was refilled. I guess we are dating again.
Aaaaaaand, there's the title of my second book. "One Dick. Six Angles."
Well thank god i want six autographed copies
Blood everywhere...karaoke was nice
Just to clarify, i'm coming over for tacos not a threesome
8 minutes into the New Year and and I've already sent a nude...new year, new me?
I danced my ass off after the funeral last night. Kept dropping it low and I can feel it in my legs today. Im like shit I needa go work out
What a way to honor the dead
Randomize
