So are we goin out tonight?
Dude, we woke up in your car in some parking lot last night...
And that was fun, wasn't it?
my mom asked me how i could steal on a clear conscious and i told her it was because when i was younger she let me watch alladin and he did it.
Just got a script for 120 vicodin with 6 refills. I feel like michael jackson.
I could make treat bags
someone just drove by blasting livin on a prayer and threw like 6 bagels out the window... was it you?!
He tried to use a signal flare to light the bong
And?
He melted the stem
Did you seduce any young men into coming home to your love nest of poutine and jäger bombs?
I apologize for being mean. I love the blender and your vagina.
apparently my new 420 ritual is to look at the clock at 4:20 and realize i'm already too high
I responded with "neat-o burrito" to his SEXT...he tried so hard and I just panicked.
He's being awfully beer snobby for a guy who ordered salad
just realized we fucked to the ultimate disney playlist last night. hakuna matata.
I don’t have the time, patience, or blood alcohol level to deal with her.
She was sitting on the couch in his tux jacket...no pants, eating cold vegetable lasagna. Yet I'm the weirdo?
It's National Whipped Cream Day, prep those nips
the voting booth dude cock blocked me or she woulda totally blown me in the voting booth.
Randomize
