it was like one of those moments where the couple runs together and kisses and everyone in the airport claps. but instead of clapping an indian guy walked by and said 'ahhhright! get some!'
I'm so fucking pissed that I wasted my shooting star wish on him and his little penis.
Michelle Duggar likes to fuuuuck
i can hardly tell the difference between falling asleep and passing out anymore
Now I'm watching The History of Sex on the History Channel. They're talking about how repressed the 30s were. I think I understand why grandma is such an angry person.
I went to his work to give him some blankets and ended up blowing him in the bathroom. See what happens when you don't come over?
Welll when you have a beer at 8:30 am you've already decided whaat kind of Sunday it ism
I actually had fun getting arrested. That high.
It's been hot as balls outside. It's like getting tea bagged by the Sun.
Threw up on the baby. National Tequila Day is the eve of National I'm A Horrible Nanny Day.
Because if not I was going to quote Ryan Lochte as punishment
Thank god I got my shit together
Why would I take you home? That would eliminate the chances of you making bad decisions I could ridicule you about later.
Only you would get a side of potential vagina with your sandwich
How did you end up breaking into that laundromat at 3am? I saw the snapchat but like..... How?
Are you done yet? I've eaten three corndogs so I'm ready 2 party.
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