Do you ever think God made girls unattractive around their periods as a warning?
Dude. Creed is coming in september.
We're no longer friends.
Sharpest. Poop. Ever.
i no longer even have beer goggles. i'm pretty sure i blacked out and had beer lasik.
are you just going to ignore any texts involving my penis from now on? because thats going to shut down a pretty sizeable portion of our conversations.
working out is totally making me break out.. i'm doomed to forever be either a butterface or a butterbod. there is no way out.
There's a knife in my toilet. And I meant to ask you last night if you got a hair cut?
He titled his birthday party on facebook, "BJ's in PJ's- an adult slumber party." I'm the only one invited.
My vagina bone hurts from grinding on that dude so hard.
He's beautiful. His facial hair makes me wanna cum in it
Ew, no. But yeah I feel the same
I threw up vodka and borscht. I'm done with life...I threw this up in a McDonald's bathroom btw.
i'm eating pizza lunchables and telling my boyfriend he can do better than me because i am a functional adult
You ate my pie without asking. So don't get butt hurt if I send you link to plus size clothing stores.
Just let me put on a bra and brush the alcohol out of my hair.
Mike's letting gay guys do body shots off him again.
My boyfriend, ladies and gentlemen.
Randomize
