She told me she only masterbates to Kenny Rogers songs.
OMG. What did u say?
I told her I did too.
His second form of ID was an emergency room wristband from an hour ago. What the fuck is going on right now
Haha yeah he had an allergic reaction to the alcohol earlier. He thinks that if he only drinks vodka he will be ok...
it was like having sex with a tree stump
Listening to Joy Division and applying for Walmart. You get to choose which one is more depressing.
I would describe it as pure and unadulterated shock, mixed with horror and a touch of nausea.
i wont go near him until the smell goes away , and he takes the chex mix box off his head.
He just got home drunk. He ate 5 snack cakes, said Little Debbie's his bitch, went upstairs and fell asleep.
still finding ketchup in my shoes. thanks to graduation that is probably the last time ill ever say that..
Lights are FLASHING. This just got REAL. CAPTALIZATION.
It's like when your main girl and your side girl start having their period in the same week
You are the most depressed sports fan I know
I have a third degree burn on my inner thigh from the blunt dropping on me in the car
he cancelled our romantic dinner reservations so we could stay home and watch a Rocky movie marathon and order pizza. i know i should be upset but i think i'm kinda in love.
I ate mushroom chocolates & went to the botanical gardens for Christmas. HAPPY FUCKING HOLIDAYS
Sooo i'm debating posing nude for the drawing and painting classes, I just wanna see if they draw my nip ring.
Couch. On fire.
Randomize
