Just got booed while taking a piss and asked if I 'call that a penis.' Get me the fuck out nf yankee stadium.
No jewlry, no bra, and no pen. I couldnt be more prepared for a friday morning class.
just masturbated through my pocket at the library. hope you're enjoying your saturday night out.
Ok lesson learned. Don't lick the spoon when making mushroom chocolates. The kitchen walls are melting.
Woke up with a migrane, threw up blood, then my headache went away. I'm going to convince myself that it was just a bad batch of blood so I can drink again tonight
It's been decided..lingerie is an investment. You get free breakfast and cab rides out of it.
If you get me so fucked up I can't use the microwave , I'm going to be so mad at you
Did I change midway through last night?
Seven times. The most notable outfits were UFC Fighter and Top Hat Viking
His name is Dustib. Not a typo. I just can't.
I'm still laying in bed cuz I don't feel like adulting yet
Also, if you don't fuck me soon, I will die. I don't want to die like that.
*6am blends another margarita* *615am blends straight tequila*
She deleted me on Facebook. I think it's safe to say that she knows I fucked him now.
Wanna guess where my charger was last night.....in my cooler with my beer. I put it in there because I knew I would never forget my beer.
How you run into a glAss door three times in a row I do not know
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