what age do we have to be before we can stop fucking guys on the first date?
they have pregnancy tests at the dollar store
I feel like that is one of those things that you should not cheap out on.
Your scrotum should have touched every square inch of that place by now. Start with the water fountain.
My boyfriend woke me up in the middle of the night to have sex with me right before I had sex with another guy in my dream. What a unique sixth sense his penis has.
I almost caused an explosion; It's okay though. because everyone would have died having a good time.
We listened to Rod Stewart Pandora and slow danced in the shower.
I'll hold a taco with my boobs for you
He wrote on the paper that he wanted a "Ptitty burreto" from taco bell...when we ordered it the girl paused and entered "Potatoe burrieto"....we laughed
This hickey is now green and covers half my neck. I have an alien hickey. I think he thought my neck was dinner.
YOU BROUGHT HANDCUFFS TO THE WHITE ELEPHANT EXCHANGE AND DIDN'T TELL ME???
I made out with a girl because I wanted to get in the VIP section of the bar because they have these big comfy couches. It worked.
He put rainforest music on before we had sex I felt like I was in the Amazon
Honestly cannot tell if I’m magical or really, really high.
she filled my toilet with birdseed... i tried flushing it but now it's clogged so she has to come over and fix it because it was her mistake in the first place
Gov of Georgia is going to allow massage therapists to return to work.
Gives a new meaning to 'Happy Endings'.
Randomize
