I texted him about a book we both like. I was expecting a "ya great book... let's bone" response. It didn't work
Okay so if I'm going to keep referring to my hangover in the third person it needs a name.
i can't, i'm blowing bubbles in class and getting credit for it
I don't care. I'll be that guy that eats cake in a car. Alone. With the doors locked.
My ex just called and told me that he is on his way to the hospital because he popped a vein in his dick. Should I go to the ER with him or class?
Nothing like a 3am firealarm to kick a booty call out...
i just remember explaining why my socks were better than everyone elses.
Yeah. Rock bottom was him passing out and saying "are you putting a condom on me?" and me covering his mouth and saying shhhhh�
I dont think getting to 3rd base with a girl you barely know is the type of memory they had in mind when they named the park "memorial park"
fuck it. im taking monday off to do some Jagering.
The neighbors outside are screaming at one another about God knows what and everyone is too scared to go outside and we NEEd more beer
Yeah, last night in the parking lot was hot. I'm sure whoever has the surveillance tapes thinks so too.
My disapointment is making my balls hurt :(
I'm 22 and I'm drinking hawaiian punch from a sippy cup. Everything is right in the world.
I puked on someone's floor last night and then they proceeded to ask me on a date.
Randomize
