I was found on the hood of someone elses car... Who would've thought there were 2 white nissans?
no... you woke up naked next to the toilet because you said your outfit was too cute to throw up in
is it normal that we went to that class once and both got 100's on the final? ohhhh, arizona state.
bring the vodka.
i thought we were going to mcdonalds..?
we are.
There's limited edition cherry vanilla nyquil. It's like they know how much I hate myself and they're giving me a consolation prize.
The only comparison I have for the iPhone is that it's like youre constantly getting a blow job
you're wrong. we DID have sex last night. just ask your roommate. you seriously don't remember him asking to join us?
He drives a BMW. I have to fuck him. Girl Code Rule #26.
Is it a good time to tell him he's getting too clingy if he sent me a picture of my name spelled with Cheerios?
do me a favor, I need this weekend off so can you work your magic and blow my boss again?
You need to finger her with the Spock hand sign since she loves Star Trek.
I don't just want drugs. I deserve drugs.
im looking at the positives. number one it stopped me from hooking up with vince infront of his girl, number two it gave me something to do instead of throwing up and number three i fuckin rocked his world
this dude is way too smart. he just explained to me the different scientific components of drugs while we smoked. i said i loved icecream.
I had to pee so bad that I snuck into the bathroom while they were in the shower. At her request, he was massaging her boobs so they could grow faster. Also there was a laser light machine.
Randomize
