i hate having sex with him only a few drinks in. i like it better when i cant remember the gory details.
I just remember standing in the shower with you eating chips.
Giving the kids Children's Claritin and calling it candy.....Is it setting them up for drug abuse later?
I've now graduated to the level of gay where I can tell Tegan and Sara apart.
Most likely. calling 911 isnt usually something i do the first time i hang out w. someone, but hey. its a good story now.
I don't know if I should be scared or excited that I can officially drink vodka on the rocks like it's 7up.
Found my wallet. It was under my dresser with a note that said "good job you found me". Drunk me is an ass.
I misunderstood what a furry was. Come pick me up.
Someday, but I will be heavily drugged and there will be no dolphins.
Nice just gets you lonely or dead. I don't like those options.
Locals got pissed I was talking to the barmaid. Tried to tell me that they keep all the good beer at "a Soho walkup" Google saved me
I got his number because he was "impressed with how much I could handle"...I was chasing shots with Olive Garden breadsticks...
I'm 22 and I'm drinking hawaiian punch from a sippy cup. Everything is right in the world.
Does anyone remember last night? Because I still don't know why I now own a goldfish and a ceiling fan made of pizza?
Stop recording sex noises and setting them as my ringtones. This time it was at a funeral
Randomize
