i just passed a truck with a bumper sticker saying "i'd rather be cummin than strokin." god bless the midwest.
she's just sitting in a corner ripping all of the filters off her menthols
You and I should start a club for people who woke up on outside on a bench with no idea how they got there.
So i've def seen the girl running for student body VP getting fingered in a bar.
Just ate a whole pizza by myself. Wearing my indian headdress again. its really cool with the french braids. I look like fucking pocahontas or some shit.
My living room is scattered with glow sticks wrappers, sparklers, face paint & beer cans?
It's not as cool looking when the drugs wear off, is it?
anyone who texts me today gets a complimentary picture of my mangled foot. starting with you.
ewwwww wtf when you left last night you were fine?
i was talking to them for like 5 mins and they were like HEY LETS GET A PICTURE and tequila said it was good idea
You know you've got awesome issues when the main deciding factor of whether or not to cut your nails depends on nacho consumption in the near future
Just watched two people have sex in the pool. Hope you enjoy your yeast infection courtesy of the comfort inn.
You might have been able to redeem yourself had you not referred to grandma as "this bitch".
That explains the hand print on my face. That old lady knows how to throw a punch.
I warned you. Don't come crying to me when your vagina refuses to forgive you for this.
i'm drinking soco out of a mickey mouse cup right now. i love it when college and my childhood meet in the middle.
Interesting, I was always told to run away from crazy, but you seem to think we should run towards them dick first.
we are currently pregaming for our walk to the liquor store.
step one: admitting you have a problem. complete.
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