I just spent the night with a bunch of indian guys and i wasn't attracted to a single one. Yeah i've officially become an anti-indian indian.
my grandma just informed me that patrick swayze used to babysit my dads cousins why wasn't i informed of this early...like when i was obsessed with dirty dancing!
I'm pissed I'm finding this out at 24 bc i could have used this material to make friends
I am watching the symphony and have decided that violin players probably give really good hand jobs.
The mystery has been solved. Seagulls have sex doggy-style.
If shame burned calories, I'll be back to my birth weight by the end of this weekend.
Ended up getting hot boxed in a limo with a bunch of asians going to a karaoke bar. I think I pretended to understand their language for a solid hour. Am I bilingual now?
He was "hot guy in the dark". One of us had to sleep with him. I took the bullet you're welcome.
I threw up in a flower pot outside the bar last night and have a date tonight....I think I missed something
Well, let's just say, I got that eye patch like we were joking about
I think I pulled a boob muscle during phone sex
I love my cat. she doesnt judge when i stumble in my house drunk and pass out on my floor. my dog looks at me disappointed.
Woke up from a black out in a strangers Jeep without phone, shoes, or wallet.
Could someone explain to me why there were 40 individually wrapped burritos in the fridge when I woke up this morning?
Well when we Get drunk it gets rowdy. We could always attempt self-control. But historically and statistically speaking, we fail at that.
We should write a country song: “Blacked Out on a Sunday”
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