Don't worry. I just took 2 benadryls and beat off. I'm practically sleep texting
i was taking the test and had to adjust my boner and my teacher thought i was cheating or something
I seriously dont think i have ever ridden a horse sober.
I'm tempted to see how fat I can get before he leaves me. It's obvious we're playing a game of chicken here.
Your remote is drenched in lotion and you expect me to believe you weren't masturbating?!
I just got a new temperpedic mattress pad and started smoking weed again in the same week. finding motivation to go to a 9:AM class is close to impossible.
We're celebrating his weight gain and arrest.and by we I mean I, and by celebrating I mean getting dangerously drunk
My rule for unemployment is that I can't smoke before noon.
I haven't gotten up before 1 though, so it hasn't really impacted me.
They've taken all the lighthearted fun out of S&M.
Like who turns down taking a nap inside of someone in 2014.
I just wanted to tell you that the German word for "dickhead" can also be translated as "ass violin" and I think that's beautiful.
It's gonna be me and some oreos tonight. Basically like sex
A massage should never include spaghetti sauce. shit was fucked up
I would let him fuck me right here in this laundromat. Praise Satan.
Thank you for stopping me from getting a butt tattoo. That was a good call.
Randomize
