I just woke up and shes still asleep next to me with her vibrator inside her and on. Whats normal protocol for this situation?
Next time we're there I want drunk pics of us trying to ride the stone lions downtown. Don't even attempt to fight me on this.
HOW IS IT EARTHLY POSSIBLE TO DO THAT MUCH DAMAGE WITH JUST MY THUMBS?? HOW???
Within the hour, he sent me 8 texts and 4 voice memos. One of the memos was just him whistling for 3 minutes. ...It's official, I attract the crazies.
I feel like the fact that I slept with someone who dresses up like Batman a few times will never be lived down.
Last thing I remember is whiskey shots. My roommate tells me we were there 15min before I decided to run home naked. And we live across from a police station.
Like I would feel weird too if you just cancelled our wedding, cut off all your hair and started twerking everywhere
You are the only lesbian I know that needs plan b
I think my nap took me to another dimension
All you need is a handful of lube and an open mind
he just ran into my room in his giant penis costume yelling "supercock to the rescue"... I am still in total shock
She was topless, yelling this is Sparta, threatening to push her dad into the sewer. I am pretty sure she won't be at school.
It does not feel like it was just this morning that I had a penis in multiple cavities of my body
just answer this one ? for me. why is there human shit in my shower right now?
He ate me out while I was wearing a canada goose parka and a dress hand crafted by a seamstress from yellowknife. I came while watching the northern lights. Most arctic orgasm ever.
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