i don't know how boys match. i think shoes & belt are the only thing. it doesn't matter. i just know if they look stupid.
so i am drinking whiskey and watching home alone 2 by myself. it turns out moving to a foreign country isn't all that different after all.
we fucked to don't stop believing. most epic sex EVER.
just asked if they'd gift wrap go-go taquitos for you at 7-eleven
i wanna meet her so much more now that I know she got toed in a hottub.
we went to the bar with our boss and you tried to play a song from the atm machine
i spent an hour trying to convince my psychiatrist that the fact that i showed up for my appointment drunk was progress, and she does not agree
How external is "for external use only"?
I am officially now FB friends with my arresting officer.
There is a midget driving a powered tricycle around town. I am not drunk, stoned, or lying.
Have you seen that new toaster that burns your pics to toast? Let's drink some booze and discuss what I have I mind.
Yeah plus that night got so disgusting it's basically a repressed memory anyway
Oh yeah, you are a real peach except for shitting uncontrollably and bleeding out of your face.
I kind of just assumed by how he whisked eggs that he would be bad in bed.
I've never been so turned off by an omelet.
He's perfect in every other way. Is buying him a cockring too forward or just honest?
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