I just did your MASH and your life is pretty unfortunate. Youre marrying the tech guy for love. you live in a shack and you're a hooker and you make $1 a day. you drive a brown limo and you have 7 kids
but i really can't criticize. i blacked out waaaaaay ahead of schedule.
Why can't I find a man that likes bush instead of a vagina that looks like it belongs to a prepubescent child!
Because men are children
Touche
He did a double fist pump when he discovered the Magnums fit and skipped back towards the bed.
you tried to clear everyones facebook status so that yours would be the only one on everyones home page
You were spitting chewed up pretzle into my hands telling me to hold it for you.
You couldn't stand up so I took you home, took off your makeup, put you to bed then shaved off your eyebrows. I so nearly won the responsible adult prize.
I feel like his dick looks like a decorative autumn squash.
No if my life depended on you fingering me just let me die
He asked us to wake him up with a strobe light. We had it going in front of his face full power for half and hour and he didn't even blink.
Only I could get hit on by homophobic straight guys in a drag bar.
I just heard myself say the sentence "I'm gonna go to the bank then take a nap". 8 year old me just slapped my present self through the space-time continuum for being an old fuck.
Halloween: the only night of the year wheee the more high I get, the more it compliments my makeup and outfit.
I told you for Halloween we just need to let the loins free! Let the girth come to us in a flock, drenched with passion!
She said she didn't care that I was gay and wants to ride the fucking rainbow
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